The Wisdom of Silence

SilenceCheck out the podcast here.

Last week we learned that grandchildren are awesome and are a crown to old men. Grandparents should influence their grandchildren, but God’s design is for parents to raise their children not grandparents raise grandchildren. When I say this, please don’t think that I’m saying it’s sinful, wrong, or unethical for grandparents to raise their kid’s kids. We are in challenging times and we must adapt and overcome, and what a blessing it is to have grandchildren and grandparents in your lives. Excellent speech doesn’t taste good in the mouth of the fool just like speaking nonsense or lies is foreign to someone of high moral character – a quality all Christians should be growing in. Finally, Solomon told us that bribes work like magic, but you shouldn’t have to bribe someone to receive love or forgiveness. Today, we kick off a series of verses that relate to how we interact with others, but don’t seem to follow any particular pattern.

Pro. 17:9-11 says, “He who conceals a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends. A rebuke goes deeper into one who has understanding than a hundred blows into a fool. A rebellious man seeks only evil,
So a cruel messenger will be sent against him.”

Our first verse seems like a contrary principle from what we’ve already heard. “He who conceals a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends.” The best way to have peace is to get along with everyone. That seems to be obvious. I’ve often said, you may not want to go on vacation with everyone, but you should be able to get along with others. If you want to maintain or establish a friendship with someone, you’ve got to be willing to overlook the faults of others, just like they need to be willing to overlook your faults. If you’re the one that doesn’t seem to make friends, you’re the only one that doesn’t get invited to the party, when you enter the room everyone else leaves, you’re the one that people don’t want to be around, you have to stop and ask yourself some really hard questions. Is it me? Am I hard to approach? Am I hard to get along with? Am I hard to like? Sometimes we default to, “Well, I’m very outspoken and people just need to deal with it.” “People don’t like me because I’m confident,” or “people don’t like me because I’m a Christian.” Solomon is not talking about a cover up or some other conspiracy, he’s talking about behavior with one another. Not every transgression needs to be punished with death or shunning. That’s what Solomon is saying here.   If something occurred because of forgetfulness, forget it. If something happened because it was an oversight, overlook it. Sometimes people that say others just need to get over something are the very ones holding onto something. That’s what he’s saying. Some things should be let go. There is a place for accountability, but there’s a place for grace and mercy too. One of the worst things you can do in a situation is talk about it with other people. Solomon says it this way, “But he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends.” As hard as this may be to believe, I have people ask me why other people did something to them. Often, I don’t even know the people to whom they are referring and I cannot imagine why a person would do something. I guess it comes with the territory, but I’m no mind reader. I don’t know why your co-worker has been a jerk to you. I don’t know why your neighbor’s dog seems like he’s out to get you. I don’t know why that stranger cut you off in traffic. I don’t know why your kid is being bullied. I don’t know why that telemarketer keeps calling. I can only chalk it up to the fact that we live in a fallen world and people sometimes don’t act right. It really is that simple. If your neighbor is a jerk, love them anyway. If your co-worker is mean, love them anyway. No good will come of repeating how jerky they are. If someone has an issue with you, don’t you want them to come and talk to you about it? In a society that seems to be offended by any perceived injustice, we need not be so easily offended. In Pro. 10:12 Solomon said, “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all transgressions.” One of the marks of a growing believer is that forgiveness comes easily because it’s supernaturally placed. That’s a great indicator that God is working in you.

These next verses are short, sweet, and stand alone. “A rebuke goes deeper into one who has understanding than a hundred blows into a fool.” I really like this verse. Although at first glance this might appear to be an endorsement to smack someone around, it’s not. It’s hyperbole – exaggeration used for effect. Rebuke means to sharply criticize. In the spirit of 2 Tim. 2:15, we need to rightly divide the Word of God, so let me qualify this verse. Solomon has said this type of statement before. Someone who has understanding is someone that is continually undergoing the process of gaining wisdom. This type of person sees where you’re coming from and understands the goal. What’s the goal? Being conformed to the image of Christ. God puts all kinds of people in our lives to help us get there. It’s easy to automatically discount the guidance of another because your flesh rears its ugly head and says, “Who do they think they are!” You can hit the fool over the head with a wisdom stick and he still won’t get it because he lacks the fundamental requirement for godly wisdom and that’s God. Without a relationship with Christ, you can’t get to God. Without God, the wisdom someone might possess on a worldly basis is a poor imitation of godly wisdom. That’s why Solomon says a fool will not understand wisdom even if you try to beat it into him.

Solomon talks next about a rebel with a cause. “A rebellious man seeks only evil, so a cruel messenger will be sent against him.” You want to be a rebel? Rebellious means difficult to control or unmanageable. This rebel may be rebellious toward God, other people, or the government. It’s a general rebellious state and goes along with wickedness and ungodliness present in a fool. I think most people recognize rebellion and what it means, but what about “the cruel messenger” that’s going to be sent out against him? We typically think of cruel as a bad thing and Elvis told us, “Don’t be cruel.” All sin is rebellion against God and if we understand that principle then it seems likely we’re talking about a heavenly messenger. Ps. 78:49 says, “He sent upon them His burning anger, fury and indignation and trouble, a band of destroying angels.” We’re also familiar with the angel of death that came upon the firstborn of Egypt. What we can say for sure is that all rebellion against God will be dealt with in a completely just way.

The best way to obtain peace is to get along with everyone. That may not be the easiest thing, but as much as it’s up to you, be at peace with everyone. Love keeps no record of wrong doing so if you are wronged or feel you’ve been wronged, it’s better to let love cover it than it is to go around blabbing about how you’ve been wronged by humanity. It’s a lot easier to deal with wise people than with fools. Somebody that has understanding will get what you’re saying, but no matter how much talking you do, a fool just won’t get it. Rebellious people seek evil, but rest assured, judgment is coming.

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