Dare to Discipline

3 Oct

disciplineCheck out the podcast here.

Last week we acknowledged that child discipline is a very hot topic in our culture today. We’ve got people that tell us you have to spank your kids and others that say you shouldn’t spank. We’ve got people that tell us to let our kids find their own way and don’t discipline at all. Every child will exercise their free will at some point. Not every discipline style or technique works for every child so figure out what works for your child. For the experienced parents, help new parents. If you see an out of control kid somewhere, offer some help to a parent that might just be struggling with issues you don’t know about. Rules and policies are good to have; it teaches boundaries. The hope we have in our children turning out good diminishes from year to year. Take care to raise them while there is still hope. Don’t tolerate out of control anger. If you bail someone out that is frequently angry, you’ll do it over and over again. Let them bear the penalty for their behavior. This morning, Solomon reminds us of a very important principle.

Pro. 19:20-23 says, “Listen to counsel and accept discipline, that you may be wise the rest of your days. Many plans are in a man’s heart, but the counsel of the Lord will stand. What is desirable in a man is his kindness, and it is better to be a poor man than a liar. The fear of the Lord leads to life, so that one may sleep satisfied, untouched by evil.”

Let’s do a quick review. “Listen to counsel and accept discipline, that you may be wise the rest of your days.” One of the reasons people have a hard time going to others for advice or guidance is because they’ve already made up their mind and don’t want to hear anyone disagree with them. I have experienced this time and time again. Oh Pastor Ian, I need your help. What do I do in this situation? Well, based on what Scripture says, and based on my experience, it would be wisest to . . . . Then I get all the responses about why that particular solution would not work. By the power of God, I have been transformed by the inner workings of the Holy Spirit and my thinking is not of this world. I have cultivated a biblical worldview and that’s why many times, my guidance seems so out of place in our society. No matter what anyone throws at me, I pray that I will have the wisdom necessary to respond in the most biblically accurate, compassionate, loving, merciful manner that brings glory to God. If you’re willing to take the counsel of people that walk the walk of faith, that have persevered in difficult times, that have stayed the course regardless of circumstances; if you’re willing to listen and follow guidance, Solomon says, “You may be wise the rest of your days.”

If you want to be wise in the future, listen now. Surround yourself with people that will speak the truth into your lives, that will share their wisdom with you. It is not uncommon for me to get insight from people that I love, respect, and trust. It’s not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. I know my limits and I don’t think I’m a failure because I seek wisdom from godly people who have been where I have been. When you have a seeking kind of desire, when you find people that will give you biblical guidance, you will gain knowledge and understanding and we know that leads to wisdom.

This is really applicable today. “Many plans are in a man’s heart, but the counsel of the Lord will stand.” Do you remember back in Pro. 16:9 when Solomon said, “The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” Planning is one of the keys to success in life. If you’re smart, you plan out your finances so that you won’t spend more than you make. Businesses have marketing plans to attract new customers. In the Navy we had short and long range training plans to make sure we were ready to face anything. We need to plan for our daily living, but planning is important in your spiritual life too. Solomon is saying that men make plans to accomplish goals, but it is, “The Lord that directs his steps.” This ties in with the ways of a man’s heart. We have lots of verses regarding the leading and guiding of the Lord. Ps. 37:23 reminds us, “The steps of a man are established by the Lord, and He delights in his way.” We’re not talking about getting from one geographic place to another. People today spend a lot of time planning out their lives.

We have wedding planners, investment planners, health care planners, financial planners, fitness planners, and life coaches so this idea of planning should be nothing new to us. Solomon is talking about seeking God and fulfilling the plans He has for you. As I’ve said before, there’s nothing wrong with making plans for your life, but God must be considered before anything else. What will you do if and when God changes your plan? Will you be willing to submit yourself to God? Regarding worldly planning, Ja. 4:14-15 says, “Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.” Are you afraid of the Lord’s will? I think it’s a valid question. Are you willing to accept His will for your life? Are you willing to trust the Lord’s plans for you? It’s easy to assume that when someone you love or respect makes plans, they must be godly. Attending church or small group or reading your Bible is no guarantee that the plans being made are godly plans.

There are “Many plans in a man’s heart, but the Lord’s counsel will stand.” Regardless of the plans we make, only what is allowed by God will occur. We have seen before in Proverbs that just because something happens does not mean it is God’s will. With all the planning and preparation we do engage in, a verse that puts our plans in perspective is found in Ps. 2:4, “He who sits in the heavens laughs, the Lord scoffs at them.” Contextually, this Psalm is talking about kings taking their stand and rulers making plans to come against the Lord’s anointed, but I think this is what happens when we come up with plans apart from the wisdom of God or those He puts in our path.

This next one is not all inclusive. “What is desirable in a man is his kindness, and it is better to be a poor man than a liar.” The real meaning of this verse doesn’t come across very clearly. The word translated desirable doesn’t mean a characteristic that is attractive in men although that may be true. The word here is a self-desire or something that a man wants for himself. It’s a way he wants to be; something he aspires to become. It is the intention to be good, kind, or loyal. It’s that desire to be kind that gives value to what the guy does. “It’s better to be a poor man than a liar.” Solomon has given us this principle before. Integrity is a character quality that cannot be taken away. Rich or poor in this world has no bearing on eternity. Everything you have here will remain here.

Here’s a familiar principle. “The fear of the Lord leads to life, so that one may sleep satisfied, untouched by evil.” Solomon is not saying you’ll never have trouble sleeping, he’s not saying evil will not cross your path at some point, but there’s an underlying principle. Fear, as in other places, is reverence for God. This reverence leads His children to live a life that glorifies Him. That can take a number of forms, but the bottom line is that your life must reflect the power of God. Each day you look more and more like Christ and less and less like your natural self. When you are focused on God, you have a tendency to let Him maintain control of the universe. Anxiousness can be a symptom of being a control freak. Don’t sweat what you cannot control. When things do happen in your life, you remember that God is in control. It’s tough to shut off your brain sometimes as you lie in your bed thinking. Have you ever been excited about how God will work something out? Have you ever been giddy about seeing God work in His time? That’s what Solomon is saying. You keep the main thing the main thing and let God work out all the difficult details.

I encourage you to read Rom. 8:31-39 that will really shed some light on this. Yes, bad things may happen in our lives, evil may cross our paths, but nothing can “separate us from the love of God.” Keep your focus on God and not on current circumstances. Before you think it, I know it can be difficult to do that in the face of such trying times. One way that will help you is to immerse yourself in God’s Word and see how the saints of old managed to stay true to God in the face of tremendous adversity.

Wisdom is not some elusive quality. You can develop wisdom by listening to the godly counsel of others. Counsel that has been developed from years of walking with God. A biblical worldview will lead to godliness for the rest of your days. Make intentional plans in your walk with God; He will reveal the path to take and be open to what He wants rather than what you want. Just because something seems good and right does not mean God wants you to do it. Being a follower of God does not mean nothing bad will ever happen in your life or the lives of those you love, but one thing is for sure. Circumstances must not dictate your love or devotion to God. God is God and He is in control no matter what life may look like at any given moment.

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